The Hummingbird.

“There’s a hummingbird in my heart

that wants to come out.

So I say, okay my friend,

Let me drown in spirits

And for the night

Let my guard down

So you can sing again

of jumping

into the middle of the Indian Ocean,

and finding penguins in a desert,

and the night you

flew across the world to start

a new life.

There’s a hummingbird in my heart

that wants to come out,

But I’m a coward.

I say, How can I trust you won’t screw up?

You can be oddly bizarre.

You can make your love squirm.

You can stammer till you forget

your voice. Can you still spark

a connection?

I don’t want to be alone,

Self-conscious, and

Embarrassed.

There’s a hummingbird in my heart

that really wants to come out,

But I’m too afraid.

I say, look at the other birds.

They outshine you.

Your love is not ready for you,

the tenderness of your voice,

Your notes of

weakness,

and judgements,

your blundered attempts

at kindness.”

Tanesha Bajaj

2020